OleChapters

Maybe I should let go, maybe I should hold on. Intense feeling of the unknown closing in and creeping in making your hair stand up. Blood pumping as you hold razor blades looking at the roof and seeing a rope. Should I end it all? Should I just be selfish and rid the pain no matter who gets hurt? Is it really worth it? Gasping for air, I can’t breathe I can’t eat or even think. Fuck! This feels like a nightmare but am awake, even the drugs cant numb the pain. You should have been the first to pick it up, you should have seen his dying, and you should have seen she’s dying. You cared about yourself so much you couldn’t see the pain you were putting them through, you cared about your pain so much that you couldn’t reach a point of yall being a team and beating the pain together. All you cared about was you no one else, it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to be afraid and to protect you more than the next person, but did you not see when he/she fell on the ground begging for your help...

When they see me they see a beautiful soul and eyes that can cure diseases, but no one ever stops to help me carry the heavy heart tearing my rib cage apart. No one ever thinks about the dark during the light, my personality lied and couldn't keep up with the lies. Sweat chilled like ice the women say, chilled respectful young man the men say, until the monster comes out and suddenly I am not a human being anymore. No one cared enough to see the bad beyond my smile, no one cared to hold my hand when I wasn't sure... Super smart but equally stupid, ran a mile with thorns piercing my feet thinking am strong in the aftermath I found myself in pain and agony. Should have put my shoes on while I had the chance made excuses that I couldn't find shoelaces. Now I sit with scars as reminders of my stupid decisions,mellow and tender voice with a straight face the devil smile behind, cheerful and motivational words couldn't help myself. Speaking in tongues hoping to be understoo...